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Writing Tip #1: From the Free Throw Line

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Seven-tenths of a second on the clock.  All eyes are on you at the foul shot line, and those hundreds of stares weigh down your arms like cement gloves.  You know that somewhere among those eyes are the hazels and blues of coaches and recruiters, waiting to see how you handle the pressure.  Assessing.  Judging.  Deciding.

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I recently read The Long Shot by Darcy Frey, and when one of the characters found himself there on the foul line, I felt a strange kinship to the player.  Despite hours and hours of practice and hard work, he knew that this one shot could make or break his chances for a college scholarship.  He had seven-tenths of a second to prove himself.  

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As a writer, you have ten pages.  

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Agents only see your query letter and a sample of your writing so small, it seems impossible to showcase your talent in such a small excerpt.  So how do you make those ten pages count?  How do you make the basket, win the game, and earn that coveted scholarship?  Or, in writing terms, how do you get a manuscript request?  There have been a lot of articles and tips written about what the first ten pages should or shouldn’t include.  Here are three things that your first ten pages should do.

 

  1. Nail the Tone

I once gave my ninth-grade students first lines from seven or eight novels, spanning several genres, and asked the kids to rank the lines based on how much they wanted to keep on reading.  Some first lines were short and quippy, some long and flowery, and one just plain strange.  As a teacher and a writer, I thought I had a pretty good idea of how the students would rank the first lines.  

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I was wrong.

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The thing that surprised me was that there was no pattern at all to their rankings.  Some students hated first lines that others loved.  Some thought the long and flowery opening pulled them in with gorgeous description, while others found it boring.  Some loved the humorous, quirky openings, while others found them trite and immature.  I repeated the experiment class after class, year after year, always with the same results.  

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The lesson?  Kids love all kinds of openings, because they like all kinds of books.  But if you’re expecting a literary masterpiece and you get a joke about pants, you’re going to be disappointed.  If you’re reading a thriller and the opening scene is a normal conversation in a kitchen, you’ll find yourself putting that book back on the shelf.

 

   2. Set Up Conflict and Mystery

Obvious, right?  And yet somehow, the infusion of conflict and mystery into those first ten pages can be elusive.  Before even starting your book, figure out how to make your readers ask questions, because their drive for answers will keep them reading.  This can happen far outside the realm of the mystery genre, as shown by Morgan Matson’s teen romance Since You’ve Been Gone:

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The list arrived after Sloane had been gone two weeks.  I wasn’t at home to get it because I was at Sloane’s, where I had gone yet again, hoping against hope to find her there.  I had decided, as I’d driven over to her house, my iPod off and my hands gripping the steering wheel, that if she was there, I wouldn’t even need an explanation.  It wouldn’t be necessary for her to tell me why she’d suddenly stopped answering her phone, texts, and emails, or why she’d vanished....

 

The book is a fun romance, not the tale of a kidnapping, but the mystery element hooks you in right away, and carries you through the awkward misunderstandings and steamy kisses that are typical for the genre.

 

   3. Begin Worldbuilding

The first ten pages should give your readers a good idea of setting.  In Hilari Bell’s Fall of a Kingdom, for example, the story immediately takes on a Persian fantasy feel:

 

Jiaan ducked, and a bronze cup shaped like a ram’s horn crashed into the wall behind him.  It didn’t clatter on the floor, since the thick carpets that had already absorbed its contents muffled the sound.  He hoped the carpets wouldn’t be too hard to clean.  Jiaan knew that some people found it harder than others to fight off the djinn of rage.  But he didn’t think the lady Soraya was even trying.

 

Words and phrases like djinn and bronze cup shaped like a ram’s horn help readers to situate themselves into this new fantasy world.  This isn’t just something for fantasy and sci-fi writers to think about, however.  In Alecia Whitaker’s Wildflower, we’re immediately immersed into the world of blue-grass music.

 

“Bird!” Jacob whispers urgently over the music.

I snap out of my trance and turn toward my older brother, wondering why he’s standing so close, with his upright bass practically leaning on my shoulder.  All five of us are squished onto a tiny platform in some hole-in-the-wall, no-name honky-tonk, so I’d appreciate it if he could give me a little room to work.  I shoot him an annoyed look.


If you can introduce your tone, mystery or conflict, and setting to your readers in those first few pages, you’ll be in good shape.  As you drop your characters and all of their quirks and backstory into the world you establish, your readers will love traveling with them on their journey.

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